Tuesday, July 1, 2008

What Bammer Needs To Keep The "12 NCs" Lie Alive


Joseph Goebbels is most often credited with this statement: "If you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it." This concept is the cornerstone of the foundation upon which the so-called Bammer "tradition" is built, and I propose that lies and propaganda are the true Bammer tradition.

The Bammers rely on six things to keep their fraudulent "tradition" alive:
  • (1) A lack of accurate information
    When Bammers repeat the "12 NCs Lie", they will never talk about specifics, for one of two reasons: (a) they don't know the underlying facts [about 70% of all Bammers fall into this category], or (b) they know the facts, but are unwilling to acknowledge them. The only things a Bammer can or will discuss concerning the "12 NCs Lie" are which years they claim (which are conveniently printed on the silk-screened t-shirts that comprise over 80% of the average Bammer's wardrobe).
  • (2) Help from friends
    Sports writers, sportscasters, and authors all have a stake in building up the subject at hand to make it a more interesting or compelling read (or show, in the case of radio and television). Bammers are routinely assisted in the propagation of the "12 NCs Lie" by people who have at least a temporal reason for self-gain.
  • (3) We "accept" the illogical assertion that there are multiple national champions in a given year
    This is a particularly insidious variation on the liberal's utopian world view - "Everyone's a winner!" (Also, see #2.) Of course, this happens in no other organized sport in the history of man - that is, except in Tuscaloosa County, Alabama. If you have any common sense at all, you'll laugh long and hard.
  • (4) We "agree" that claiming NCs decades after the games were played is "OK"
    This is some of the most redneck, most ridiculous behavior ever promoted by adults. Imagine, at some point (the 1960s?), an athletic director somewhere deciding to promote his school by getting a professor to "engineer" a goofy poll ("Dr. Dizzle-Switch is the first on campus to have a Texas Instruments calculator, by God!"). When others hear of it - the modern Gold Rush is on! If you can come up with some warped, tortured mathematical model, you can claim literally dozens of national championships! It's like they're just lying around on the ground, waiting for someone to "find" them - THE RACE IS ON!
  • (5) Honor among thieves
    The schools that are best at fabricating a history of NCs will be the least likely to call others out for their fraudulent behavior. Did you hear any uproar when USC decided in 2004 to claim the 1939 football NC - 65 years later?! What a joke. Even USC asserts its claim rather sheepishly (click here). Note that the "Unuversdy of Allerbammer" was deathly silent; they were probably scouring the books one MORE time to dredge up some more NCs somehow...
  • (6) If "they" do it, Bammer can, too
    When backed into the corner about their "12 NCs Lie", Bammers will often point to some other school: "Well, they did it! What about them? Why don't you call them out, too?" - revealing the utter childishness of the logic that has led to this behavior... and I say childishness because it proves their severe underdevelopment of character and of fundamental moral principles. Only a child could not see that if Bammer and Bammer fans feel they must rely on unethical people for their values and morals, they have none.
Liars and propagandists like Bammer, its fans, its sycophants within the press, and its publicity machine never anticipated the Internet, of course. They want as little truthful information available as possible. It's up to the rest of us to bring the truth forward, into the light of contemporary discussion, and to relegate this group of liars and propagandists to the ash heap of sports history.

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