Coach "Character Flaw"

If you look at all of Bourbon Brinte's history - there are several character traits that repeat often enough to be undeniably confirmed:

1. He was a chain-smoking drunkard. Nobody denies that.
2. He was a womanizer. Nobody denies that, either.
3. He was a cheat. Nobody seriously denies that, either.
   
   The one character trait that no one seems to talk about, although the evidence is there for everyone to see, is that...
   
   
4. He was a quitter. When the going got tough, The Burr wanted to run away.
   
   When times got tough at Bammer in 1969 and 1970, he nearly quit to coach the Dolphins. The wishbone worked quickly enough, so he stayed. But when Pat Dye showed up at Auburn in 1981, he knew he was about to be schooled by a former assistant. He couldn't stand for that, and he knew Coach Dye wasn't going anywhere, so he QUIT.

Bourbon Brinte was a cheating, chain-smoking, drunken, womanizing QUITTER. The man's life DEFINES "character flaw". I would NEVER entrust my son to a piece of human garbage like Paul "Bear" Bryant. Not EVER. Just look at the lowlife trash he created - Joe "Lemme kith you" Namath, Kenny "Can you give me a lift, officer" Stabler, and on and on and on. His legacy is the wreckage of thousands of families that were taught that moral relativism in the name of competition was OK. All you have to do is look in the newspaper every few days to see the latest fruit of his corrupt regime.

I have ZERO respect for that white trash. I would no more allow someone like that in my house... I wouldn't even let that scumbag cut my grass. He was white trash through and through. The lowlife was STUPID, too... he couldn't even graduate from a podunk Arkansas high school, so it was "fixed" when he ended up in Tuscaloosa. Wow... did he ever understand corruption... as a beneficiary and as the ringleader. I'm sorry he's dead because I can't tell him what a lowlife scumbag he is TO HIS FACE.

Now... you Bammers may not want to confront the truth, but that's the facts. And no one, not even "RTB", can change the facts.

Dispelling the "12 NCs Lie"

I wrote this three or four years ago, and first posted it on either the old collegefootballnews.com blog (now scout.com) or the now-defunct Paul Finniboom blog. I've refined it a bit since the first version, but the gist is the same:

Bammer's claim of winning 12 NCs is a contemptible LIE.

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If you read the NCAA records (online), you won't be left with a sense that Bama can legitimately claim 12 NCs.

When you hear a Bammer fan say that Bammer has 12 NCs, you can immediately confront the LIE. Here are THE FACTS:

• 1925: There was no national champion (or championship) in 1925. Without exception, every poll mentioned in the NCAA record book was assigned retroactively no less than 1 year later, and as many as 55 years later. The two polling methods Bammer quotes are Helms (applied retroactively in 1941) and Football Annual/College Football Researchers Association (whose retroactive application of their method was no earlier than 1982, and is described in the NCAA Record Book as "conducted on a poll by Harry Carson Frye"). Who the hell is Harry Carson Frye? A Bammer? I just didn't get a good feeling about this, so I did a little more research.
  
  What I found was that Dartmouth appears to have the only legitimate claim to the 1925 championship, as the method used (Dickinson) came into being prior to 1925, although it was not marketed to newspapers until 1926. Dickinson's method seems to be the first to employ strength-of-schedule and a trophy (the Rissman Trophy). There is a lengthy write-up about the Dickinson poll on the USC website; if you read it, it's pretty obvious that this was the prevailing method of the day.
  
  Scratch the alleged 1925 championship. This Bammer lie has been exposed and repudiated.
  
  
• 1926: According to Dickinson (the poll in use in 1926), Stanford is the 1926 National Champion. But wait a minute, the Bammers say... Alabama tied Stanford in its final game of the season (the Rose Bowl), and both were otherwise undefeated. The question is - was Dickinson applied after the head-to-head matchup? The answer is YES - check the Stanford website - Stanford received the Rissman Trophy. If there's any doubt - Notre Dame (believe it or not) has/had permanent possession of the Rissman Trophy; it may have an inscription indicating the 1926 National Champion. My guess is that it's got "Stanford" next to "1926", but if you want to be sure, call the Notre Dame Athletic Department; maybe they can tell you for sure. Without any better information....
  
  Scratch the alleged 1926 championship. Another Bammer lie exposed and repudiated.
  
  
• 1930: Notre Dame is ranked #1 by 9 of the 13 polls recognized by the NCAA records for 1930. Of the 13 polls, only three were actually used in 1930: Dickinson, Boand, and Houlgate, and all three selected Notre Dame. The modern day NCAA consensus pick is also Notre Dame.
  
  Scratch the alleged 1930 championship. Another Bammer lie exposed and repudiated.
  
  
• 1934: Here's our first potential dilemma. Of the polls in use mentioned in the NCAA records, six are actually in existence in 1934, and they're evenly split between Minnesota and Bammer. The edge would seem to be in Minnesota's favor (Dickinson picked'em), but if we look further at the NCAA data, on p. 89, the modern-day NCAA consensus pick is Minnesota - who also at least shared the 1935 National Championship with SMU (who lost in their bowl game to Stanford). Minnesota also won the 1936 National Championship outright.
  
  Scratch the alleged 1934 championship. Another Bammer lie exposed and repudiated.
  
  
• 1941: Woops.... it's Minnesota again. Of the seven polls in existence at the time, Minnesota comes out on top in six (including Dickinson, and the Associated Press). Bammer comes out on top in only one (existing) poll, and no retroactive polls. But it gets better! During the season, Bammer lost to Vanderbilt (who ended the season unranked according to the AP) and Mississippi State (who ended the season ranked #16 according to the AP). AP puts Bammer at #20. No question here...
  
  Scratch the alleged 1941 championship. Another Bammer lie exposed and repudiated.
  
  
• 1961: No doubt here - it's Bammer's first National Championship.
  
  
• 1964: Sorry Bammer! No cigar! Bammer was undefeated until it lost to #5 Texas (who was the unanimous 1963 National Champion) in the Orange Bowl. And if you can't beat #5, then you can't be #1. Isn't this obvious?
  
  Scratch the alleged 1964 championship. Another Bammer lie exposed and repudiated...
  
  
• 1965: Not much doubt here - Michigan State loses its bowl game, and Bammer moves up to #1 from #4. Bear gets National Championship #2.
  
  
• 1973: Sorry Bammer, no cigar here! #1 ranked Bammer plays #4 Notre Dame in the Sugar Bowl - and LOSES 24-23. Notre Dame moves up to #1, and is the consensus National Champion; to say Bammer is better than Notre Dame in 1973 is beyond delusional - it's an outright lie. The only reason Bammers claim they were National Champions in 1973 is because, at that time, the UPI poll didn't consider bowl games as the AP and other polls did. It would seem to most people that if you can't beat #4, then you can't be #1, but a deception based on an outdated poll is good enough for the Mullet Nation...
  
  Scratch the alleged 1973 championship. Another Bammer lie has been exposed and repudiated.
  
  
• 1978: Looks like a winner... Bammer loses early in the season to USC, but not long after, USC loses to Arizona State. Both win their bowl games, and finish 10-1. Bammer wins the AP poll, USC the UPI poll. It's Bammer's third National Championship.
  
  
• 1979: No question here... Bammer's 4th National Championship.
  
  
• 1992: No question here either - Bammer's 5th National Championship.

SO..... in review: 12 - 7 = 5. That's FIVE NCs. And five only.

Now that we know the correct number... what would have happened had the NCAA uncovered the massive corruption that Bourbon Bryant rode heard over at Bammer starting in 1958? I dare say there would be ZERO national championships, and perhaps several hundred FELONY CONVICTIONS...

Remember - when a Bammer says ANYTHING about 12 NCs - challenge him/her ON THE SPOT - LIAR! THAT'S A DAMN LIE!
Then crush him/her with the facts if he/she attempts to continue to LIE.

"Manly Tiger's Bammer Back to Earth Prophecy – Vol. II, 2005"

I don't know how I came across this, but it was one of a number of posts re: score predictions for the 2005 Iron Bowl. (Auburn won, 28-18, and it really wasn't that close.)

Enjoy!

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The Manly Tiger Prophecies
Manly Tiger's Bammer Back to Earth Prophecy – Vol. II, 2005
Auburn vs. Alabama, CBS, 2:30 p.m., November 19, 2005

And Lo, as prophesied, on the battlefield of Jordan-Hare East, didst the Tigers plunge a lethal dagger into the soft underbelly of the Dawgly nation. And as even as the wide-eyed leglifters were bellowing forth their victory whoofs, didst the deadly strike of Cox fly true unto Aromashodu, and didst a trailing Courtney diveth forth unto the rescue. And Lo, so helplessly didst Munson's tearful pugnosers view, as with but a second or two, didst the once taunted Vaughn kick so true. Proud warriors of the orange and blue, with souvenir hedge held high, the Tiger nation doth hail ye! And there, before the blissful scene of conquest didst King Tubs and his commanders standeth tall, and cry aloud, "Bringeth on Bammer, who proclaimeth to be back! Unacquainted are they with the end zone, and by the People of the Corn Dog was their weakness exposed. Yet, still do they pompously layeth down the smack, and their loudmouthed Demeco belittle our ground force attack. Returneth home, Oh People of the Tiger! Even now, the Crimson Kneck Elephant Tide approacheth! Two days henceforth, we shall rendereth unto the toothless nation history's lesson yet again, and reveal unto the world that the Tiger still doth rule."

And in stillness lies the Loveliest Village, 'neath a moonlit November hue, with the Corner of Toomer in full cover of tissue. And the chill winds doth blow, and ancient memories flow - and awakeneth the unmistakable echo . . . Nineteen Hundred Eighty Nine. And drawn by this haunting echo, didst Auburn men, women and children march as in a trance unto the field of Jordan and Hare. And there didst the masses huddle against the evening chill, where quietly didst they wait . . . and in prayerful tones, anticipate. And Lo, presently, from the south end tunnel, and flanked by ancient warriors whose blood once was bravely spilled on this soil, didst two unmistakable warriors emerge – King Tubs, and striding by his side, the great King Patrick of the Dyes. A hush didst fall upon this throng, a solemnity as the hour required. And all ears didst open, awaiting the sure utterance of some sacred word. And stepping slowly forth, didst King Tubs speaketh thusly: "Behold, proud People of the Tiger, the flag of liberty which doth proudly unfurl over this field. Fearless and proud do we walk, and tall do we stand in this, our homeland. But hear me well, one and all." And laying his right hand on the shoulder of King Patrick, didst King Tubs go on, "We stand so tall, and see so far, because on these broad shoulders do we stand! It is this great warrior and true Auburn man who defiantly didst stand against a million-strong redneck band, and told them UNTO HELL COULD THEY GO with their Lesion Field demand! Raise your voices aloud! Hail, Hail to this great Auburn man! Here, on this hallowed earth where ye stand, in his honor shall we proclaim this the Field of Dye for all time!"

And a deafening roar didst rise up into the cool Auburn night, and frat house girders shake, and King Patrick of the Dyes standeth and thusly, spake: "King Tubs, you rightly wear the crown and lead our great nation now. I thank thee for this honor, and do humbly accept."

And Lo, now growing intense, and with a grizzled, familiar grimace, didst King Patrick then raise his voice, "Let this truth sink in ye deeply, Oh people of this land. We built not this house upon sand, but upon rock and steel. Deep is this foundation laid, and doth King Tubs build it ever higher. But Lo, we are both but servants to a far greater power. It is not by sword, nor by spear that our army's strength is born, but of the love of this fair land – sweet Auburn, Loveliest Village on the Plain. And when I die, as die must we all, bury me here in this hallowed soil. For Lo, though Georgian by birth, by divine providence do I proudly wear the helm of orange, and the armor of blue. And on this ground two days henceforth shall ye slay the Tide with smothering force and invincible battle pride!"

And Lo, the chant didst riseth, and in the cool night air didst grow . . . BRINGETH ON BAMMER, BRINGETH ON THIS LOUDMOUTHED FOE! Back, they claimeth to be, but back to earth shall they violently go! A most ungodly sight, this Riff-Raff Tribe. Verily, a boorish band of uni-browed, camper shell living, forehead protruding, and outhouse dwelling rubes. They marcheth forth in tattered shirts and doth bellow "Roh Tahd", "Turd-ee-shun" and other bemusing war chants. People of the Tiger, drink not the dark brew of doom, and line the streets of Donahue! For they know not what rage awaits them on the field of our forefather Dye. Nor have they tred on deadly enemy soil, nor gazed into the Tiger's eye. We shall engulf their over-hyped defenders in an offensive hellfire of biblical proportions. And Lo, in strangled dredlock death, shall the Mullet Warrior's battle days with a faint whimper end. And lying in pancaked posture shall Demeco not rise again, and the Ramuh-Jamuh be silenced. And as the orange sun doth set against the deep blue November sky shall the People of the Red Overall in horror flee, to return unto the morass of Shulan mediocrity. And Lo, the mirth and merriment shall commence, and shall victory grog be swilled, tissue be tossed, cheer-wenches yell, and dance-maidens dance. As prophesied, one week henceforth, a Great Amen shall ariseth. For Lo, one day following the feast of the turkey shall the People of the Corn Dog taste defeat to the snorting swines of the Whoo-Soo-Wee Tribe. And the champions shall returneth unto the Land of Long Commutes in sure defense of their crown against the People of the Dawg.

Amen.

Eagle5
Birmingham, Alabama

Auburn Tigers 27 Crimson Knecks 10

What Bammer Needs To Keep The "12 NCs" Lie Alive

Joseph Goebbels is most often credited with this statement: "If you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it." This concept is the cornerstone of the foundation upon which the so-called Bammer "tradition" is built, and I propose that lies and propaganda are the true Bammer tradition.

The Bammers rely on six things to keep their fraudulent "tradition" alive:

• (1) A lack of accurate information
  When Bammers repeat the "12 NCs Lie", they will never talk about specifics, for one of two reasons: (a) they don't know the underlying facts [about 70% of all Bammers fall into this category], or (b) they know the facts, but are unwilling to acknowledge them. The only things a Bammer can or will discuss concerning the "12 NCs Lie" are which years they claim (which are conveniently printed on the silk-screened t-shirts that comprise over 80% of the average Bammer's wardrobe).
• (2) Help from friends
  Sports writers, sportscasters, and authors all have a stake in building up the subject at hand to make it a more interesting or compelling read (or show, in the case of radio and television). Bammers are routinely assisted in the propagation of the "12 NCs Lie" by people who have at least a temporal reason for self-gain.
• (3) We "accept" the illogical assertion that there are multiple national champions in a given year
  This is a particularly insidious variation on the liberal's utopian world view - "Everyone's a winner!" (Also, see #2.) Of course, this happens in no other organized sport in the history of man - that is, except in Tuscaloosa County, Alabama. If you have any common sense at all, you'll laugh long and hard.
• (4) We "agree" that claiming NCs decades after the games were played is "OK"
  This is some of the most redneck, most ridiculous behavior ever promoted by adults. Imagine, at some point (the 1960s?), an athletic director somewhere deciding to promote his school by getting a professor to "engineer" a goofy poll ("Dr. Dizzle-Switch is the first on campus to have a Texas Instruments calculator, by God!"). When others hear of it - the modern Gold Rush is on! If you can come up with some warped, tortured mathematical model, you can claim literally dozens of national championships! It's like they're just lying around on the ground, waiting for someone to "find" them - THE RACE IS ON!
• (5) Honor among thieves
  The schools that are best at fabricating a history of NCs will be the least likely to call others out for their fraudulent behavior. Did you hear any uproar when USC decided in 2004 to claim the 1939 football NC - 65 years later?! What a joke. Even USC asserts its claim rather sheepishly (click here). Note that the "Unuversdy of Allerbammer" was deathly silent; they were probably scouring the books one MORE time to dredge up some more NCs somehow...
• (6) If "they" do it, Bammer can, too
  When backed into the corner about their "12 NCs Lie", Bammers will often point to some other school: "Well, they did it! What about them? Why don't you call them out, too?" - revealing the utter childishness of the logic that has led to this behavior... and I say childishness because it proves their severe underdevelopment of character and of fundamental moral principles. Only a child could not see that if Bammer and Bammer fans feel they must rely on unethical people for their values and morals, they have none.

Liars and propagandists like Bammer, its fans, its sycophants within the press, and its publicity machine never anticipated the Internet, of course. They want as little truthful information available as possible. It's up to the rest of us to bring the truth forward, into the light of contemporary discussion, and to relegate this group of liars and propagandists to the ash heap of sports history.

A Tennessee Fan Loathes Bammer

Check it out. It's hysterical. (http://www.rsfckers.com/Literature/taylor_bama.htm)

Fulmer Cup: Bammer Takes Commanding Lead

Well, well, well... Bammer is poised to win its 3,754th "nashnul champyunsheeyup". Due to Jimmy Johns' diligent efforts, Bammer has taken what appears to be an insurmountable lead in the Fulmer Cup standings. (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/category/fulmer-cup/)

Stand by...

Bammer Recruits To Be Fingerprinted And Mirandized On National Signing Day

Well - not really - but they should be... judging from past behavior... They probably should be required to register with law enforcement wherever they live, too.

So... what have the Bammers been up to?

• Drunk driving
• Armed robbery
• Possession of cocaine
• Distribution of cocaine
• Possession of ecstasy
• Possession of marijuana
• Possession of a stolen fiream
• More drunk driving
• Disorderly conduct
• Resisting arrest
• Assaulting a police officer

Did I leave anything out? Oh yeah...

• Converting textbooks paid for with scholarship money (all of which were "new"/unused).

It may not be a crime, but it's an NCAA rules violation. But the biggest crimes of all have to be -

• Giving a bunch of common thugs free college educations worth 6 figures each - when most of these thugs end up majoring in General Studies, Pre-Major Studies, and Home Economics... and then passing them off as "student athletes"

... and ...

• Paying $6 million to the Runt of Fairmont (WV) - with $34 million more on the way - to be the leader of this this goofy band of criminals, buffoons, and idiots.

This is the role of a "university"? Selling its soul for the success of a football team made up of illiterate losers? Holy cow...